Women, Are You Faking it?

That’s right, I said it. It’s the dirty little secret of many women (and men) in business. Faking it.

I mean the act of not showing up as your authentic self.  The consequences of faking may seem harmless at first blush.  After all, faking it is common, particularly early in one’s career.  “Fake it ‘til you make it “has been the mantra of many a young professional trying to break into their first career opportunity and if you choose that route, It should represent a short term solution to the lack of experience catch -22.  We also use our ability to fake it to gain confidence in new or intimidating situations.  The practice of “feeling the fear and doing it anyway” is helpful in overcoming challenges.

If, however, you find yourself perpetrating a fraud after an extended period of time, you may want to examine the reasons you do not bring the best representation of your thinking, actions and skills to the table. Women (and men) fake it for many reasons – ironically, they fake it for some of the same reasons they fake it in - ahem – other arenas.

1. They fake it to please employers or co-workers and hold on to their jobs. In the current economic climate, they feel compelled to “perform” under less than ideal circumstances and they often suppress true thoughts and feelings to preserve their working relationships and status in the workplace.
2. Faking it as a means of not exposing oneself to employers is also common. In many corporate environments much lip service is given to thinking outside of  that proverbial box; however, in practice many businesses are wed to an almost “groupthink” culture.  Employees in these settings must tread lightly and learn to interpret the subtexts of all communication and interactions.
3. Some fake it because they do not know how to complete the job. They have not been able to explore the resources available to them or tell colleagues or managers what they need to be successful.
4. Fear of rejection is often the core reason for people faking it. Rejecting one’s authentic needs, ideas, contributions is essentially a form of self deprivation.

One of the problems with faking it is that your colleagues, employer and other stakeholders think that the person you present to them is really you! The repressed frustration, anxieties and resentments that are seething below the surface become their impression of who you are. They never really get the benefit of the person who is a valued contributor.

Faking it almost guarantees that eventually you will be so frustrated and well – unsatisfied that you will not enjoy your work but lose confidence in your ability to deliver on your value proposition.  There are steps you can take if you’ve been faking it.

1. Start today to bring your true self to work. Express your thoughts, concerns and ideas with diplomacy.
2. Give instructions to co-workers and managers about what they can do to help you contribute successfully.
3. Be informed and do your homework to develop resources for your own success.
4. Share what you know and what you learn in a way that others value your contributions.

The sooner you bring your authentic self to your work, the better your working relationships will be.

Stop faking it.

This entry was posted on 15. December 2009 at 12:24 and is filed under Expert Consortium. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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